#LoveMe Challenge: Day 25

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What makes you laugh?

This guy.

This guy.


Renfield and Pork <3

And these guys.

Everyday they make me smile and giggle.

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#LoveMe Challenge: Day 15

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Something you have done right.

I’m going to go with taking care of my cats. I’ve kept them alive and happy into their golden years. Sometimes I do feel insecure about their health, because I have PTSD from every surprise trip to the ER they’ve made. But they are old, and sweet, and very affectionate. So I’m going to go on record as saying I raised them well.

#LoveMe Challenge: Day 9

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Share something beautiful.

art wall

clockwise from upper left: artwork by Amarah, modified estate sale find from Eric Pisani, painting by Salam El Zaatari, and painting by Xavier Evans

worship altar

Not one, but two Cthulhu figures on my altar..

books

My witchy books, handmade runes, tarot cards, craft books, candles, etc…

Also these guys…

Renfield and Pork

The love that dare not speak its name.

Renfield and Pork

They almost make a little heart…

Renfield and Pork

Glamour Shots

How could you not be in love with those faces?

#LoveMe Challenge: Day 4

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Name someone who loves me?

Just one? I mean, what do I quantify and bestow that mantle on? First would have to be my mother who would give up a kidney for me if she had to, and has always had my back. But I have a number of good friends, virtually family, who I know down to my toes, they love me.

My roommate has known me since high school, and we’ve been through the shit and the shenanigans. Xavier and I can communicate with a look. Steve has seen me at my best and my worst for a very long time and he still loves me. I don’t know how I would have moved, or had my birthday party, or gone to that charity prom function, or gone swing dancing without Eric. Laney is definitely a partner in crime, and snacking, mostly snacking, and plenty of heart to hearts, with a sprinkle of high jinx. And TJ loves me probably the most unconditionally I’ve ever had a lover capable of being, with a weird twin-speak understanding starting to form between us.

Wait a minute, you sneaky 30 Day Challenge you… I’m supposed to say “myself” aren’t I? I mean, that’s the point, right? Okay, I do TRY to love myself, but it’s usually a touch and go situation. I suppose in the truest sense I do “love” myself. Like, I do actually want the best for me, even if I am my own saboteur. I’m just not always patient and kind to myself.

How about my cats? They love me unconditionally. Well, with the acceptable caveat that they are fed. I don’t blame them, they don’t have thumbs. But this does not explain away all the cuddles and the snuggles, the hanging out with me in the room. I have to remind myself that for these little vomit and shit machines, that I am their world, I am their sunshine. Both the sun and the moon shine out of my ass, as far as their concerned. I am their entertainment. I am their “social network”. Renfield is definitely a total Momma’s boy. He’s very social, but he’ll generally prefer my company, if the choice is available. Pork as well, despite how I lovingly tease her, you’d think she’d shit on my pillow every day like a hotel mint, but she doesn’t. Thankfully.

So my life is pretty rich with love. I count it among my assets, to tell you the truth, to have this strong a network of people that care about me. It is one of the things I remind myself of when I am feeling down. If this many people think I’m groovy, I must be pretty damn groovy.

Oh June…

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I’m sorry, dear reader, that I’ve neglected my promises to post every Monday. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me. I haven’t forgotten about you.

With the warmer weather has come softer edges. I still struggle with my dysthymia. But good omens seem to come on the breeze.

First there was a litter of 5 kittens born to Ms. Jean Paul Satre:

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This is the only one with a name and a definitive home thus far. Welcome Hugh Humpster Hefner!

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(Gratuitous kitten videos can be found here – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVYofFuJkeA and here –http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LVCohgZ_7A)

And it ‘s also Pride month. Celebrations of love abound. And being a Libra and a romantic at heart, I’m not one to miss out on celebrations or love, even if I’m celebrating someone else’s.

This is my faux girlfriend and I at the Pittsburgh Pride. She’s too adorable not to share my umbrella on a rainy day.

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There was also a porcupine (though I can neither confirm nor deny that it is in fact homosexual)…

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Pittsburgh also hosted it’s 8th annual Dyke and Trans March. I was fortunate to be invited to march with my friends right down Liberty Ave (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nElnAR5habM) , and break bread in Friendship Park with some wonderfully accepting humans.

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And by the way, the day of this march it was hot as…

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There were events and gatherings of a joyous nature…

A yard sale –

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I went to see Jay and Silent Bob’s Groovy Cartoon Movie at little one screen theater in Oakmont PA, called The Oaks. I was once again with Tina, my lovely faux date.

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(My favorite part of this photo is the quizzical photobomb of the gentleman behind us.)

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes did their podcast. My photos aren’t great, but here’s a YouTube clip from the event…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C20s2TAbr3E

I took myself out on a date, one Friday night. We went out shopping, ate sushi, and then to a movie; and it was all okay.

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My friend had a going away potluck. I was so busy laughing and having a good time, I only managed one photo. However did that happen? Oh yeah, beer. Because no good story starts with eating a salad…

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And in case you were wondering, what color is she currently wearing? Well it just so happens to be Significant Other Color by OPI. One of the little things I picked up on my “date”.

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I really like the shimmery silver/gold lilac color. It is pretty sheer. I used 3 coats.

What might we have in store?

  • Making more inventory for the Art Car Show in September.
  • Making 20 postcards by the end of July, at the request of a friend.
  • Finishing those rewards. I swear I haven’t forgotten! It’s like a specter in the back of my mind. A man (and a woman) is only as good as his/her word, and I should keep put out or get out.. or something. If you haven’t gotten yours, you will.

There are a myriad of projects and bits and baubles. I am at no loss for unfinished things or grand schemes. But the reality of time is adding all of this on the “must do” list will only upset me and make me feel bad about my ability to be Wonder Woman. So I focus on the tangible goals and continue to try my best everyday. The days when I can taste success and the days when I’ve defeated myself before I’ve opened my eyes.

I hope I still have your loyalty and love. And just in case, I’ll share an intimate moment to regain your trust. This evening my roommate and I were laughing to tears at the image of receiving Ryan Reynolds as a Christmas present.. Like this kid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGmCaAEDxDU

Uninspired…

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What do you say when your creative flow is at a very low ebb? I went to my friend’s viewing the Tuesday after his death. 5 of us crammed into a friend’s vehicle. We ate at a place called the Fun Cafe, were they have cheap burgers and beer. It’s also where they dispatch the cabs from. There is also a spot to bet on the horse races and a place in the back to get a massage. It’s across the street from a topless bar. After the viewing, seeing as none of us were really up for a lap dance, we decided to have a mini wake of sorts at the local bowling alley.

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The next day, I couldn’t handle any more viewings. I couldn’t sit through any more funeral speeches. So I went out and got a pedicure. The color is called Thanks A Windmillion.

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I’ve been trying things to cheer me up. I’ve been an admirer of ties on cats in internet photos for a while. So when I saw a link to purchase these , I “pounced” so to speak. The company is called Oskar and Klaus (http://www.oskarandklaus.com/products) and one of the cats who models is blind. How cute is that? Poor little guy. When the ties arrived, some of my friends came over and we tried out a little mini photo shoot. Wherein, I also wear a knit hat with cat ears.

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I bought a low dose of Melatonin at GNC, to take at nights. That’s to help get better sleep. I try to remember to take my B vitamins to help with the sadness and tired feelings during the day. I try to exercise, and believe it or not, I chastise myself regularly for my poor, poor eating choices. (Though I usually just end up doing it again.)

Last weekend was a low point. I stayed home, hoping to accomplish something off the endless list of “things to do”. In an attempt to be quasi-productive, I made breadcrumbs out of out of date bread. I got out the camera and took the pictures step by step, I thought about what I should season it with before it went into the food processor. I even made a Youtube video, because I felt the antique machine was making crazy noises (that it promptly decided that it didn’t need to make on camera).

I breaded small pieces of chicken and made “nuggets” that I combined with a crude honey mustard ranch dipping sauce.

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To complete the experience I had a sundae of my own concocting for dessert. Herein lies chocolate ice cream, dark chocolate syrup, chocolate and sea salt caramel, and crushed dark choc mini peanut butter cups.

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Promptly after going through all this effort to create content to post, I decided nothing could be more boring than me posting about making breadcrumbs. Thusly, no post happened last Monday.

This week I bought a violin, I accomplished my personal chores, I even had a coffee date with a friend who gave me some thing shiny.

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Hopefully things are turning around in these parts. Hopefully soon I’ll get to the endless list of projects. In all, I just hope to be a little bit better.